Day one
I’m off and writing! I got up about 8am, had breakfast, cup of tea etc and then sat down to ‘get started’ it flowed out of me quite quickly as I knew what angle I wanted to start with, and I’d done some homework etc. I stopped at 1,000 words for a mid morning break, in which my mum phoned to ask how it was all going. (I’d told her I’d be having a break about 11am) So we talked on the phone and she asked how it was going etc. I said "Would you like me to read you what I’ve got so far?" She replied "oh yes please". I explained it was rough and only 1,000 words, but she was encouraging and said “we’ll that’s 49,000 to go Sal.”
She then put me on speaker phone so that my Dad could listen also.
I read out the first 1,000 words of my story – my mum was ‘oh that’s quite good, I want to know what happens next’ (My mum is my best critic if it’s shit she will tell me!) so I was like – sweet I’m on a bit of a winner here if what I’ve written so far is enough to get people wanting more.
My dad however:
‘What’s the title?’
'I’ve not come up with one yet’
‘Oh’
‘What do you mean oh – are you telling me you only read books by the title?’
‘Well they play a significant part yes’
‘Forget the title dad – what did you think? Did it draw you in to want to keep reading?’
'Mmm yeah I guess, not really my thing’
In my mind I’m thinking – how the fuck can you tell if it’s not your thing when it’s only just 1,000 words which is a page and a half! Most people give the book they read at least 10 pages before making judgement – I’ve just read a very rough 1,000 words and he’s already decided it’s not his thing!
Normally at this point I’d stand my ground and ask to him to validate his reasoning for his thoughts on the matter, but I though fucking why bother! It’s just a constant loop. This is a repeat of my life – nothing I do is ever ‘good enough’ it’s never ‘valid’ as I’m not my brother!
I remember when I used to work in computers and coming home for a weekend and my father couldn’t accept that I was a girl and I knew stuff about computers, it wasn’t until I pulled my uncles computer apart in front of him, fixed it, put it back together and made it go that he actually realised that I fucking kinda new what I was doing!
Anyway back to the phone conversation. I just thought fucking fuck it – so I was a little abrupt and said. “well I’d best get back to it, I’ll talk to you both later” and pretty much ended the phone call.
My mum has since phoned back! I’ve had a rant / unload and have told her I’m happy for her to read it, but not him! I don’t want him to read any of it!
In other news – I *was* really happy with my progress this morning, I’ve got chapter one kinda done (I’m not a big fan of super long chapters) and I can clearly see now where the character of Zoey will go next.
However right now I’m fucked off – so I’m going to go have a cup of tea, play with my dog and get ‘zen’ with the world once again.
I’ll update some more later.
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Update: I ended the day on 2,196 words, which I'm happy about. I managed to get my 'zen' back. The highlight of my day was my brother calling and I got to talk on the phone to my 'almost four' (That's what he says when you ask him how old he is - "almost four") year old nephew. He seen an advert on TV for the new Astro Boy movie, and asked if I'd take him to see it on the big TV (The cinema) I told him I would if he came to visit me while it's still showing. They are due to visit in two weeks so I'll take him to the 'big TV' and see Astroboy. He just lights up my life. He told me how his little brother is starting to walk, but he fell over and so he was a good boy and helped him up, and he also 'showed' me his new shoes (I'm still laughing over that) He was 'hold on I'll get them for you to see - puts down the phone and comes back - "See them Sal they are red!" I was like "Yeah sweetheart they are lovely."
So with day one of NanoWriMo out of the way which started off shit, it's ended well.
That’s all I’ve got
5 comments:
Hang in there Sal.
Lets face it, men in general suck at expressing themselves. Fathers, husbands, boyfriends, siblings, it does not matter. They're all cast from the same mold. I'm sure they mean well underneath.
Men are from Venus Woman are from Mars springs too mind. (I hope that was the right way around?) :)
By the way, good luck!
That sucks that your dad wasn't really willing to give it a chance, but at least your mum is into it.
Stick with the positivity and escape the captivity of negativity... which I guess you've done by cutting him out from any further opportunities to criticize.
Thankyou :) Support is by far the best solution at times :)
I never let anybody read anything I've written. Hubs complains, says he enjoys hearing what I've written,and he does get snippets. But mostly I said, the day people can read the actual "manuscript" is when it's between hardcovers and a publishers name in there somewhere!
My folks are waaaaay too critical I wouldn't ask them about anything. Just the other day, after I colored my hair, my Mom says to me, "That color doesn't look good on you, you should have left it lighter!" Well, gee wiz Mom, thanks for confidence boost!
You can imagine what I'd get if I read what I wrote. No way!
Your nephew sounds adorable!
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