Saturday, October 31, 2009

October 31

Most people on this planet know that the 31st of October is Halloween – Whilst it’s not really noted in Australia – I was quite interested to read about it online as to it’s origins etc and that it’s the 2nd largest holiday celebrated in the world. (I assume Christmas is the first!)

A bit of research today uncovered the following (I’m lazy so I’ve just copied and pasted the info!)

The history of Halloween goes back 2000 years. Many believe that Halloween’s origins are found in the Celtic festival of Samhain. The Celts, who were located in Ireland, the UK and the northern parts of France, celebrated their New Year on the first of November. Samhain was celebrated the night before the New Year.

The New Year, Celts believed, marked summer’s end, harvest time, and the start of dark, cold winter months. Those winter months were associated with death by these people. On October 31, the night before the New Year, the Celts celebrated Samhain. This day, they believed, was when the ghosts of the deceased returned to earth because the boundaries between the living world and the dead world blurred. Found on

For me though the 31st of October has other meanings other than the American holiday of Halloween.

When I was young my Nan’s sister (My great aunt) died on the 31st of October. She had come over from South Australia to celebrate my Nan’s birthday for that year (From memory I think it was her 70th) I was only quite young. But I loved this particular Aunt as she was just so much fun, she was light hearted, loved to laugh and was never cross. The evening before they left to go back to SA (The 30th of October) I remember not wanting to go into her room to say goodbye. My nan asked me why? I told her it was because I was afraid if I said goodbye I’d never see her again. I consequently didn’t say goodbye to her. She was killed in a car accident the next day. (I know freaky shit – I’ve got a list of that kinda stuff happening to me!)

The other meaning that the 31st of October has for me is the day I finally said enough is enough and walked away from a three year tumultuous relationship. I’d been treated like shit for the very last time, so I packed my stuff and left her house and never returned again. That was in 2003. I’ve not seen her since and to be honest it took a long time to get over that relationship (I lived with her so it was quite serious!) But I always remember the date, as she was American and her parents had sent her out Halloween ‘candy’ so she could have a sense of home.

Today though the 31st of October 2009 I’m older, wise and in a better place. I’ve got new things to add to the list of things that happened on the 31st of October, such as a friend’s that I’ve just recently made Helen – It’s her birthday today. Happy birthday Helen.

It’s also the eve of November and my first attempt at NanoWriMo. Which brings me to the next 30 days of November. NanoWriMo is a competition to write 50,000 words in 30 days. You can’t start writing until the 1st of November and you have to stop on the 30th. 50,000 words is a shit load considering the most I’ve written for an assignment thus far at Uni is 6,000. With creative writing though the words just flow out, and the word count (for me) is never in the forefront of my thoughts. That section is reserved for my main protagonist going on whatever journey I chose to write for them. This fiction piece I’m writing will have a female protagonist. Her name is Zoey and she is going to be kick arse!

I plan to try and write a daily blog in November just as a record of how I managed to get 50,000 words out of my mind and onto a page. So when this blur of November is over I can look back and recall just how I felt, but most importantly how I managed to put all the pieces together. Some days will be short and sweet, others might be long and winded such as this post. But overall I hope YOU my readers enjoy the journey, and I’ll keep you updated on just how Zoe fares in my future sci-fi world.

To my readers who take part in Halloween – I hope you enjoy yourselves – to everyone else thanks for reading.

That’s all I’ve got.

*Nb Word count is: 788 words

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Caution Rant Ahead - C word used

I wrote this big long winded spiel about the current situation regarding ‘boat people’ coming to Australia (Is it me or do others have this image in their mind of people with heads shaped like boats when they hear the term ‘boat people’) Anyway after I re-read it. I sounded way too much like a politician which fucked me off, so here is the ‘digest’ version of my thoughts on the matter of asylum seekers.

People have to look at the bigger picture here.

1) These people are escaping from a situation I can’t even begin to imagine must be like.

2) Australia is a BIG country yes, but the majority of the place is desert and well nothing fucking grows in the desert.

3) Some people are genuine asylum seekers other aren’t at least let these people be given the chance to plead their case.

4) The authorities need to look at the fuckers who are smuggling the people! ie those cunts who are taking advantage of those in a very dire situation, charging them an astronomical amount of non refundable money to possibly seek freedom should be rounded up and stopped.

For fuck sake Australia. I realised that some of the people that live here are dickheads. You can’t turn on the TV without someone yob draped in the Australian flag who has no fucking clue what the fuck ANZAC day stands for let alone can tell you who governs the country – but there they are ‘Fair dinkum Aussies!’ all because they can go shirtless with the Australian flag draped over their shoulders complete with their Ned Kelly tattoo!

Why are these bogans so patriotic? Because it’s a free country and we give people a fair go! Fair to those who can read the fine print and see that it excludes those fleeing turmoil in their own country, and are seeking safety for themselves and their families, via the ocean! Yes I agree it’s NOT the correct way to come into the country – however those who ‘fly’ in legitimately on a ‘tourist’ visa usually fuck off somewhere, out stary their visa conditions, work for cash in had somewhere, which prevents taxes being paid. Taxes which fund the all important football stadiums of this country (Cause sport, is more important than hospitals) and yet we have fat kids!?!

But I digress... Am I in the twilight zone? No I’m just an Australian living in this ‘lucky country’ that gives people a ‘fair go’ and isn’t racists at all!

I’ll shut the fuck up now

That’s all I’ve got.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Going Nuclear

So the debate is back regarding Australia and if we should have nuclear power to run the country instead of using fossil fuels such as coal.

My thoughts are NO we shouldn’t have nuclear power – I’ve got a few reasons I’m sure no one cares however my biggest argument is

We live in fucking Australia – its SUNNY all the fucking time – why not utilise that and create large bloody solar energy farms out the back of fucking no where and harness the sun’s energy (I sound like a bloody advert for solar panels!)

Seriously though… Has anyone in government worked out the cost of what establishing a solar energy plant would be OVER the nuclear one? I know I’d rather live within 150km’s of a solar energy farm, than a nuclear power plant!

What about the ‘great ocean road’ it blows a bloody gale down there – put up some windmills, harvest the wind, and turn that into energy!

I’m not hug a tree greenie. In fact hug a tree greenies shit me, and I’d like to collect them all, make them shower, use deodorant, have a haircut and SHAVE! Eww the thought is creeping me out!!!

Anyway….. I see in the paper over the weekend the amount of money we pay politicians to well basically do fuck all other than be bigots and fuck people they’d never have a chance of fucking if they a) weren't in politics and b) didn't have money we pay them to be politicians! I worry that the future of this country is starting to gain momentum, in the ever increasing spiral of shit, that is circulating it’s way down the drain!

Sun Kevin… Solar Power Kevin.. It might cost more to actually get up and running to begin with, but it won’t risk our grandchildren having to worry about ‘waste disposal’ in the future, and lets face it – the sun isn’t going to run out!

That’s all I’ve got.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Forward or back?

I was watching flash forward on Monday night and it made me think. If you were given the opportunity to get a glimpse into your future would you? What if the flip side of the coin enabled you to go back and give advice to your younger self, would you take that option? Which one would you choose, forward or back?

The going back option comes after spending the weekend with my parents and helping my mum clean out some of the boxes we pulled down from their roof space (Americans would call it an attic) to allow the insulation people to do their thing this week (Install insulation!). In amongst this stuff in the ‘attic’ was old shit from my school days including a letter my mum had written in relation to a dispute I’d had with a teacher when I was 13. (I don’t have any real memory of this, however she filled in the blanks he was a very vindictive person, and basically had it in for me.) This lead my mum to tell me a story of how ‘happy’ I was as a young child (At primary school) and once I started high school and was unfortunately exposed to this ‘evil teacher’ who sucked out my soul and made me angry, bitter and suicidal. My life was altered.

I asked her if she had her time again what she would have done (with the knowledge she has now) she said she’d have either moved me schools or she would have requested I be placed in a different class away from this particular teacher.

Hindsight allows us 20/20 vision – someone smart came out with the description of the way we look at our past mistakes and if only we were given another chance at them how we’d handle them differently.

Would I go back and offer my younger self advice to perhaps steer me into a brighter future? My head says yes, but my heart says no. I’m the person I am today because of the life I have lived thus far. I’ve learnt plenty of life lessons from the path I’ve been on thus far. If I was to change one point, then others would fracture off and may never happen. My brother for instance may not have married the girl he did and I wouldn’t have the two beautiful nephews I have today if I was to change something from my past.

Which brings me to the future. If offered the chance to glimpse your life 10 years from now. Would you? My answer is yes. I’d love to know what the future holds for me, if anything to allow an ease to the pressure I feel in my life right now. Has my degree helped? Am I working in a job I’m happy in? Or am I miserable or maybe even dead?

We can’t change out past, nor can we change our future, even if we were granted the gift to see into it. I’m a firm believer that everything does happen for a reason, and once your number is up it’s up. Some of us live a long life, others short – but that’s just how it has to be. I’d be happy to make it to 50. I don’t however want to be old old (80+)

It breaks my heart each time I go to see my Nan in the old age home. She doesn’t know who I am anymore, she’s delirious in dementia. I have no idea what goes on her in mind, but she is aware she’s safe, and to her that’s was all that ever mattered. When she was living in her own home, she knew eventually the day would come where she would have to go into a care facility, and she always said she didn’t mind as long as she felt safe, that was all that mattered. Some days I’m the nurse who fetches her a drink, other days I’m someone who reminds her of her youth. I’m no longer Sal her granddaughter though, as for her, that moment, that experience, that memory of the event of being a Nanna is yet to happen.

Glimpse your future? Or advise your past? You decide

That’s all I’ve got.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A slice of honesty

I watched a Youtube video (Vlog) the other day in which the vlogger stated they were so happy to have their best friend’s support. The best friend in question was someone he’d never meet (IRL) living on the other side of the world.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve met a lot of people thanks to the internet, some of whom I’m friends with i.e we e-mail, talk on the phone, send one another birthday and Christmas card etc. But some of these friends I’ve NEVER MEET in real life. (Real life, where you have, physically shared, personal space!) Some of the friends I’ve made online I’ve meet in real life, and thus they fall into the category of friends I meet via the net. (I’m not into putting my personal relationships with people into categories! I’m simply making a point of categories for this blog!)

Anyway… Out of the friends I’ve made online I’ve have varying relationships with. Some I’ve shared flats with, others I’ve slept with, some I just talk on the phone occasionally, others it’s only contact via the net through e-mail, and msn etc. The point I’m getting to is that I wouldn’t call any of them my best friend.

Best friend, is well something you find in a playground with children who put their friendships into different levels and award those ‘better’ than others the tag / label of ‘best friend’. Of all my friends I have I don’t have a ‘best’ one. They are all equal to me, they all represent something unique, thus the reason I’m friends with them, but none are ‘better’ than the other, and therefore I do not have a ‘best friend(s)’ I just have a group of close friends, and those who ‘know’ my name. (Does that make sense).

So back to the original topic I started out on. How can someone be a ‘best friend’ if you’ve never actually met them? When you have a RL friend, it different to the relationship you have with those you’ve never met. It’s those little things that you get from personal space contact that make your friendships in real life differ to those on line, the way someone looks at you when they talk can’t be replaced by a smiley in an e-mail. Nor can that sense of reality you get from someone when you see them, read their body language etc, be replicated online.

Which brings me to the following explanation. I meet a girl online years ago now, we chatted online, swapped e-mails, spoke on the phone etc and I ‘really’ liked her, but when I finally got to ‘meet’ her in real life, she wasn’t what I’d built up in my mind – (I did know what she looked like – this is not some vanity thing!) Her mannerism, the way she spoke when she was off guard, her blatant view on certain topics (You know the kind their opinion and thought are the ONLY correct one) It's these things that you can’t pick up over the phone, or the net. It’s that in the flesh connection, which makes me well scoff at these people who try and tell me their ‘best friend’ is someone who lives in another country and they have never met them, but they are like their bestest friend ever!

Some could look at this as ‘oh but he’s young’ Fuck that excuse! Everyone is ‘young’ at some stage in their lives, it’s the experiences we go through that make us the people / adults we are today. This oh but S/he is young is wearing a little thin as an excuse for ignorance. Step outside your front door, experience the world and base friendship and trust on MORE than a pleasantly rehearsed e-mail or a very controlled phone conversation!

I like all the people I’m friends with (That’s kind of an obvious statement as I’d not be friends with people I don’t like, but I’m sure you know what I mean!) I like and enjoy the ‘exchange of communication’ I have with online friends who I may or may not have met, and those who have to put up with my ugly mug in real life those pre internet friends.

Break out the ‘what you see is what you get friend’ That’s what the world needs more of.

That’s all I’ve got.