There was an error in this gadget

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

From a great height

The shit is falling on me from a great height :(

That GPA I was talking about the other week.... Seems that's not the only class I'm managing to fuck up! I submitted an essay for theories and text the other week. This subject is by far the hardest I've ever done, so I've put a lot of time and effort into it, trying to get my head around the theories in which this subject breaks down, things like, Identity, subjectivity, displacement, ethics, communication (Insert very long list of 'theories' in here - or Google Derrida, Foucault or Harraway that will explain a lot!)

With that in mind, I submitted my 'proposal' for what my major essay will be about. I got the mark back today. (I'll get the physical paper in my hand Thursday when I goto Uni) I got a pass - Take note of the (-) sign!! Which means... You passed, but only by a bee's dick! It's a 1/2 grade higher then a pass conceited which means (You're fucked, and you've failed!!) so I guess there's that... My biggest problem is... I put a lot into that paper, and I only 'just' passed it. This is not good :( If I fail this subject, well I'm fucked if I fail it.. I don't know what the fuck I'll do then. As it's one of a final two subjects for my writing degree!

All I can do now is wait and see what the lecturer wrote on the feedback and see what the fuck I'm doing wrong. Option One case scenario.. I just don't understand what I'm suppose to be doing. Option Two case scenario.... I'm just fucking stupid! (I'm going with option one) On a bright side... Yes there is light at the end of this dark theories tunnel. The final major essay isn't due for three weeks. SO in theory I can get feedback Thursday, speak to the tutor / lecturer if need be, and sort out my shit for the final assignment. Otherwise that PASS I was worried about in the Genre class with the lectures from hell will be nothing compared to this.

I'm out
That's all I've got.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Why are the shitty memories the ones that are always on replay?

I’ve got that suffocating feeling again, like I’m stuck in a deep pit, and while air is able to fill my lungs, the oxygen just isn’t travelling through to the rest of my body. This huge weight seems to be dragging me down, and the more I try to fight and pull against it the more I struggle.

I’ve came to a realisation today as to why I never complete anything. I get bored easily. If I’m lucky and can sneak into that forward propelling motion of achievement regarding getting an assignment done, then I often surprise myself by the amount of work I can get done in a day. Each time that happens, I think to myself – now if I could just do that more often, I’d have my stuff sorted out and I’d get more time to do what I wanted, instead of feeling like I’m chained to this desk, endlessly looking at information I really don’t understand, yet attempting to make it sound like I do.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want someone to just hand me my degree. I want to say I worked hard to get it, but some days, like today, I think to myself – what the fuck are you doing? Will this all amount to anything? Or am I just wandering off on a tangent of something that takes my fancy like I always do. I remember a ‘friend’ and I use that term very lightly, used to tell me I was the most indecisive person he knew. I couldn’t make a decision and stick to it. I disagreed of course, but that one comment of ‘you’re so indecisive’ has stuck with me, and I was told that over ten years ago, that now I’m beginning to think, was he right? (This ‘friend’ is now on the list of I’ll prove you wrong you fuck!)

Another moment of your mind fucking with you! Memories are great, but I seem to have the shitty ones on replay :(

That’s all I’ve got.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

A quick test of your typing ability... with your eyes shut.

I was in the kitchen today making a cup of tea and my mum was typing an e-mail to which she said to me – I can’t find the L key it’s run away. My answer was third line down four from the right, as I continued to make my cup of tea, all in my stride, as though I was telling someone how to turn on a tap!

My mum then does the ‘wow that’s amazing I bet you could type with your eyes closed…… (You know where this is heading.)

So I had a crack at writing something, anything with my eyes closed.
This is what I managed to come up with (This is not edited in anyway, this is how it came out after typing with my eyes closed.)

This is me attempting to write with my eyes cloed. I’m not sure just how this will go, but I’m haing a crack.

Not bad really, when I think about it, a couple of typos there.

If someone asked me tomorrow, where is the N on a keyboard, I’d have to think about it, I know where L is because L is in Sal and I use L a lot, but N isn’t high on my list of characters I use every day. So I’d have to stop and think about it, visualise it in my mind. I know N is on the bottom row / or 4th line down, as I’ve just used the letter N a few times in that last sentence.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this blog post now, as I just watched auto correct, correct a word I spelt wrong as I typed it. So maybe my ability to type with my eyes shut is really quite bad, and it’s the auto-correct that has got me over the line.

The researcher in me would state that I’d need to put in place the same sentence structure for each of you, so we all had to type the same thing, so we can evenly compare how we all type with our eyes closed.

Eyes closed typing and touch typing is different, as you’re watching the screen as you touch type (Which is what I’m doing right now) so you know if you’ve got the correct letters. Eyes closed though…. Totally different story.

So I ask you blog readers to ‘have a crack’ at typing with your eyes closed with the following sentence below, so we’ll all get the same results to compare.

*This is me attempting to write with my eyes closed. I’m not sure just how this will go, but I’m having a crack*

Stick em in the comment’s and no cheating.

That’s all I’ve got.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Writing exercise trying to get my confidence back

Hello readers,

I've written a piece in relation to a realistic image. Basically you had to find a 'realistic' image, and try to imagine what was happening, and construct a narrative around it. I've gone for First Person Point of View.

This was written this morning, after my massive kick to the guts re my confidence as a writer happened with the *pass* mark. So all feedback good or bad I'd appreciate.

Thank you

I scramble to position; deafened by the sounds of exploding mortar and gunfire surrounding me. My commander is on the radio ordering up an air strike, we’re coming under heavy fire from insurgents. The heat rises from the ground with the sand and dirt that are in my eyes, and its thickness get caught in the back of my throat. Just breathing feels like I’m standing looking into a glass furnace.

I thought I’d cope with the heat, being Australian, experiencing long hot summers of forty degrees and above. But this is not heat; this really is the fire pits of hell. The temperature soars up into the high fifties to low sixties degrees celsius daily. The sun burns downs on you like a heat lamp that has no off switch. There’s no escape from it, not even in the shade.

I can smell fear amongst us all. This is no training mission, this is real. The enemy on the other side want to kill us, and it has become a kill or be killed stand off over territory. They are cunning fuckers, they know how and where to hide, how to blend in to the surrounds. They appear to have infinite weaponry, and they hit hard and fast.

Our air strike will take most of them out, but waiting for air support will be by far the longest two minutes of my life. I can hear a whistling sound as a bullet comes far to close to me. I bunker down, regain my bearings, through the explosions and gunfire around me and fight it out.

That's all I've got.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Academic standing just went to shit!

Hello readers

I'm 'attempting' to graduate this degree with a grade point average of 4.0 and above which apparently translates to Credit grades and above. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo When I get a fucking piece of creative work back with a grade of 'pass +' Why the put the plus on it I've got no fucking idea as when the grades come out it's just a pass, credit, distinction or high distinction. So the + is well a waste of a character in my opinion.

This particular marker I have for this class... well lets just say we don't get on much! So when I found out that I had this 'tutor' again for a subject I originally thought 'Oh fuck' but they have been reasonable thus far, however my thoughts have just fallen back into the 'oh fuck' category after checking the online grades board this morning for my mark. (I'm awaiting the actual hard copy that will come with comments that we'll get next week)

Am I pissed off - You bet I am. I'm a 3rd year writing student, and I'm thinking my 'creative ability' has moved passed a fucking PASS grade! Sure my punctuation etc. is well shit-house, but I'll be fucked if there was enough punctuation errors in that 2,000 word piece to pull my marks down to a fucking PASS!!

If I don't manage to get a credit for the next three assessment due in this class (Which at this stage I'm thinking I've got FUCK ALL chance of that with this tutor!) My entire grade average will slip and that is going to fuck me right off.

See I'm applying for a postgraduate course at the end of this undergrad, and the grade point average matters when it comes to being accepted into these postgrad courses. If it all comes back to this one subject I'm going to be extremely pissed. It's all fine an dandy that this 'tutor' has a PHd (Yet has no books published!?! WTF is up with that) and now they control my future with their fucking pathetic grade which could be the make or break at this end stage of my writing degree.

I'll sit on my hands and wait, HOWEVER if the marks don't improve I'll be taking my work to a higher level and asking for it to be marked by someone else. As I have a feeling this 'tutor' does hold grudges which in my opinion is fucking ridiculous when you're making or breaking someone's career.

*Rant over*

I'll be spending today catching up on Uni work for the online forum stuff (Questions and response stuff) Before tackling the next big assignment due on the 30th of April.

Thanks for the vent followers.

That's all I've got

Monday, April 12, 2010

I can feel a vent blog comming on

Watch this space :/

I'm back, and I'm 'calm' Here's what unfolded this morning....

So this morning….. My world was a huge pile of shit. Why? Because my father was in a ‘mood’ oh but wait I can hear you saying, doesn't your father live in a mood. Well this morning’s ‘mood level’ was turned up to fucking super fucked.

See if the free ADSL (it's my ISP contract, my modem, router etc) as opposed to the regular DIAL UP my parents have. If the ADSL internet doesn’t work in the 1.2 milli seconds after my father puts in the address he wants – then the entire thing is ‘fucked’ not worth a ‘pinch of piss’ and is consequently *My Fault* Yes Bloggers, clearly I have this ability to just chew up a box of staples and shit out a rescue disk (Not my quote that one, I worked with a guy in I.T who arrived with that gem one day and I thought it was brilliant) Anyway my mum tries to ‘calm’ the situation down by saying maybe the site he’s trying to access at the moment is down, or something. This makes no difference. Did you know there were two ants crawling across the floor!?! Yeah it was MY FAULT!!

I’ve calmed down significantly since this mornings ‘Watch this space’ post. If I’d have written what I was feeling then, well I think you’d have had to sift through a lot of the following words: Fuck, Fucking, Cunt, Fucker, Asshole, Prick, I’m sure you get the picture. Plus I know I already say fuck a lot in my blogs – but it takes a lot for me to break out the C word!! And I mean a lot.

My solution to the situation. I finished my assignment, and went out. I thought No Sal don’t bite, don’t let him get under your skin, just breathe, finish your assignment, go and hand it in and just move on. You’re the better person! (I know my self talking is quite supportive of me ;P )

Was there a solution to this you ask? There was.... My mum went nuclear on him, told him to pull his head in, that he got ‘fast internet’ for free while I’m here, and to basically shut the fuck up. Another reason why I love my mum.

That’s all I’ve got.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

200th post

This is my 200th post!

Way back in July 2008 I posted my first post in this blog. Now a year and a half later (Well close enough!) I'm writing my 200th post.

Will there be exciting revelation in this monumental occasion?

Ummm let see.....

I have brown hair and brown eyes.
I'm right handed.
I broke my middle toe on my right foot about 14yrs ago.
My favourite colour is blue
I have tattoo's
I want more tattoo's
I like Green Day.
I broke my right hand when I was 13 in a fight :( (It was self defence!)
I like strawberry milk / yoghurt / ice-cream.
Cliff Richard is my gay icon!! (Don't be dissin the Cliff!)

So..... How was that? Have you learnt something new? or will I be hearing from Sco saying. Blah tell us something we don't already know! Hi Sco, you know I think you're #Rad!

Technically I should be finishing up the assignment that is due tomorrow, however the 'Bogan' sized can of mother (It's an energy drink, like redbull) I drank this afternoon to 'perk me up' has kinda done the reverse of what it's suppose to do, and instead of waking me up and giving me energy, it's switched my brain to hibernate and I can't really concentrate on this assignment. **OR** maybe the Bogan has started to leech into me.... HELP!!!!!!!!!! *Sprays anti-bogan spray around*

**Please note a 'Bogan' is similar to a Chav in the UK, I'm not sure what the equivalent is in the states - maybe just 'stupid'!!

So in celebration of my 200th post. I give you this gem of an image: No it's not me - Pfff like that would happen!

This is my 'almost two' nephew, getting into the outdoor action. Which involves putting on the correct 'footwear' i.e boots... even if they are his dads :)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Deep Heat and Dog Pyjamas

I kinda injured my ankle a few weeks ago, just how I'm not sure, but it's been kinda sore for a few weeks. I 'managed' to get into the Dr's today (After waiting three weeks) He had a poke and a prod at my ankle, said something about tendons and my Achilles and suggested anti-inflammatory and deep heat, before going to the expense of an ultrasound etc.

I've not used deep heat in probably 15 years. So consequently I forgot just how 'heated' it gets. I rubbed some in (With gloves - thanks to the chemist for giving me the heads up there. I think I've mentioned before she's 'stunning'!) waited about five minutes and thought - well this is shit! So I put some more on.... It was starting to heat up while I was rubbing in the 2nd dose. So lesson learnt - do be impatience wait about 10 mins as it will get hot.

On other news. I went out last night for my Uncle's 50th birthday dinner. I was due there at 6pm, so I got into the shower at 5:40pm got out went to get dressed. JEANS didn't fit! I bought these new jeans at the beginning of February, and now it's the beginning of April and they don't fit! I know the cause of it, shitty food, and consuming my body weight in chocolate over the Easter period.

So starting Monday. I'm getting of my arse and back into the exercise routine, back onto the bike, and walking the dog twice a day, as he too is putting on the beef. He's spoilt rotten though, Re food and smacko's so I only have myself to blame. But if I'm getting exercise, then so is he. He'll be getting long walks in the morning, and shorter normal walks in the afternoon, we'll both be back to our usual self in no time - Plus he needs to loose a bit of weight so he'll fit into his winter pyjama's Yes my dog has pyjama's for winter, as he's a short haired dog, and feel the cold.

*Anyone* stating that my dog wears a dress, will receive a growl from my dog (True story there) A friend of my mum's came over to my place in winter time last year, laughed and said my dog was wearing a dress. Scoob growled at him, and I was like Ooooo shit here we go. I told him (My mum's friend) to watch it, as Scoob is sensitive about his fashion!!! (which was code for Fuck off you arsehole!)

I handed in my uni assignment today which was due today, and I've got the one due Monday 'started' but I'll be working non-stop on that over the weekend. Now however is the point where I remove myself from my computer, and find something to eat, watch a movie and call it a night.

That's all I've got.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Duck for cover readers. There's stuff flying everywhere.

Hello Readers :) :)

I've got an assignment due Friday (Worth 35%) I've got an assignment due Monday (worth 35%) I'm kinda happy where I am at the moment re my Friday assignment. I think I'll have it successfully finished by tomorrow. The one due Monday.... Well I kinda started it this morning! I know I know get your shit sorted Sal...

Truth is I'm not enjoying Uni much this semester. I've got two quite hard writing subjects (Friday's assignment is a writing one) and this Sociology unit which isn't hard, more that the lecturer is quite pedantic about the language we use in our assignments, online discussion etc. So it's a case of thinking about what you want to write, writing it, then going back and putting the correct terms in place (If that makes sense) However regardless of my enjoyment level of uni I'd rather be studying than in a job I hate. So I'll suck it up and get on with it.

My memory card is full atm and I can't find the camera cable otherwise I would have taken a photo of the mess that is my desk. I'll paint you a picture of what my desk looks for you all though.

Paper - LOTS of paper, various journals extracts, newspapers articles, reviews etc that I've got off line, and I'm currently trying to decipher what these 'experts' have had to say and then put it into terms for me to understand it!

My desk is woody brown colour, and at the moment you can't see any of the woody colour, as it's all white, green and various colours of the books I've had to de-construct for these assignments, not to mention the fucking massive text book I have for Sociology.

So it's head down arse up for me at the moment. If I manage to sort out Friday's assignment by tomorrow. I'll breathe a little easier, then I'll be getting my sociology on regarding asylum seekers over the weekend in time to have this assignment in by 5pm Monday.

I'll no doubt get bored / procrastinate between now and then, so be ready for more blog updates. Until then....

That's all I've got.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I forgot about BEDA - Doctor Who

Last year I did BEDA (Blog every day in April) I'm only seven days into April before I remembered it was a blog entry per day. While I'm not sure if I'll get an entry in every day. I'll do my best to have a crack as they say... So here we go.....

Dling ding ding, dling ding ding, dling ding ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, dling ding ding……

The above is my attempt at the old theme tune to Doctor Who as the new one goes like this <………………………………………………….> Insert the sound of shit!

Yes blog readers. Doctor Who is back for its 5th season under the new format with Matt Smith new to the role of ‘The Doctor’ after the great David Tennant departed at Christmas. There’s been a shit load of hype surrounding new Who and I finally got to watch the new episode last night.

What did you think of it Sal? I can hear you all asking. Which is really nice of you to ask, because this blog is about my thoughts on the new Doctor Who!!!!

So started off with a ‘grab you by the throat scene’ (I LOVE those!!!) Grabs your attention and you think Fuck yes! Then roll intro credits. *Dun Dunnnnn* First fuck up is under way. They have taken the theme tune which is SO WELL KNOWN and well fucked it up considerably, not to mention the fucking intro titles! I mean WHY fucking change it? Sure change the logo as the logo was a little naff, but don’t fuck with the time vortex opening sequence OR the fucking theme tune!!!

*Rant with excessive use of the word fuck over*

The episode kinda looses momentum a little, but soon picks up and we get to see what usually happened when a Doctor regenerates, he’s confused, not sure what he is like or what he likes re food, etc and there’s a quite comedic scene where the lead tries various food, only to spit it out over and over again (Though that kinda got a little repetitive) Before he settles on fish fingers and custard. Quite the taste sensation I’m sure.

Then the threat is revealed. The Doctor is there to save the world, new companion who is a little ditzy for my liking, but I may warm to her over time. A spiral of witty lines, action, ranting and fast talking and you’re at the end of the episode and you’re left thinking FUCK YES Doctor who is back once again! :)

I’m a Doctor who fangirl from way back. I have been a fan since I was little and watching Tom Baker do his thing with his long scarf, so I was happy when I heard that they were brining it back in 2004. In 2010 we’ve had Doctors 9, 10 and now 11 do their thing, and if this first episode is anything to go by the combination of excellent writing / directing by Steven Moffat coupled with Matt Smith as the lead role. I seriously think this is going to be up to par with previous Doctors (All except Colin Baker who was SHIT!!!)

So if you’ve not been blessed with the world of Doctor Who I suggest you check it out. The new series had a huge budget so the special effects etc rock, the old series had some dodgy set work, but it was the story that mattered.

Go off and get you Who on!!!

That’s all I’ve got.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Life Long Friendship

My friend Trudee (Trude for short) came over today and hung out with me, she's about to pull up stumps and move to Western Australia forever :( She leaves on Friday! Trude and I meet while working for the same employer (The one known as bend you over and fuck you in the arse!) as they bent me over and fucked me and they did the same to Trude. So after the ex-work bitching was out of the way, we just hung out, ate cake, drank tea /coffee had some lunch and just generally enjoyed one another's company.

Trude is the sort of friend that you meet and there's just an instant connection. She knew the moment she met me I was gay, but didn't mention it until I came out to her almost 12 months later. Which she was cool about, said the 'I kinda knew' but was still. It's your business etc. (Though she does always keep an eye out for a 'nice girl' for me! Bless her.)

So Trude's been fucked over by our ex-employer, she's got her redundancy money and she's off. She's off to see what Australia has to offer in the ute and caravan she bought. I say Rock on you go girl! She's a free spirit who can make anywhere her home, which I think is awesome.

Sometimes people come into your life for a short while then leave. Others you know you'll have a friend in them for life. With Trude. I know I could call her up or visit her in three years time, and it would only seem like yesterday since I seen her. Friends like that are unique, and I'm grateful to have meet Trude, who will be a life long friend of mine.

That's all I've got.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Something profound

I like things that grab your attention and draw you in. I’d love a job as the sleeve writer for book covers – those little excerpts that make people want to read it.

Daniel was afraid for his life, but he knew a decision had to be made, right or wrong, his life was destined to be changed forever,,,,

Like I said, I like to draw people in.

My thoughts for today are. What is the go with chocolate and Jesus day? I’ve never understood the whole Easter bunny and chocolate eggs deal in relation to celebrating Zombie Jesus rising from the dead. (If you’re religious I do apologise should I offend you. I’m not religious as you can probably tell)

See here’s the thing. You go anywhere in the world and stay at a motel, you WILL find what I refer to as the Jesus draw. The draw which contains the bible as distributed by Gideon’s (I don’t know who Gideon’s is) I’ve never owned a Bible, nor have I read any of it. I know some of the well known passages that get flogged in movies such as the valley of death speech from Pulp fiction. But other than that. I’m not up to speed on the whole Christian / Jesus / God thing. Though I do remember a time in ‘religion’ classes at primary school. (They were held once a month on a Thursday morning for an hour!) when the religious teacher lady asked some question (I don’t know what she asked as I didn’t actually hear that she said) as myself and this boy called Alan we’re not paying attention, he said something and my answer to him was ‘Jesus Christ’ and I was pulled back into reality by the teacher saying quite clearly at the front ‘Yes Sally that’s correct!’

What blows me away is:
a) Rabbits and eggs are married up (I’m assuming it’s some subliminal message about creating life maybe??)

b) Chocolate eggs and rabbits?

c) All I can see is a chocolate is apparently an aphrodisiac, and rabbits are well supposed to fuck a lot.

So what is the actual message of Easter? Other than Jesus is clearly a zombie as he’s come back from the dead!!! *lol* I can so hear my friends telling me I’m going to hell for that comment right now. Little do they know we’re probably already in it (hell)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about right and wrong, there’s an entire ‘morals’ entry there. But isn’t that human nature? That we treat others how we’d like to be treated? Thus my theory of those who are right fucking arse-holes basically give us a free ticket to be right fucking arse-holes back to them, because at the end of the day they aren’t trying to be cocky fuckers, they just want someone to treat them like shit!?!

So there is my profound thoughts on today Easter Sunday 2010 also known as ‘eat a shit load of chocolate day and ‘oi I’m not dead in here’ Zombie Jesus day.

That’s all I’ve got.