Post # 30 End of BEDA, and Uncomfortably Numb

When I looked at going to University, I thought that it was the right time in my life to look at ‘further education’ too open up new doors out into the world for a career change or at least a larger pool to choose from in the job market.

So far my experience of Uni has been good, its hard work getting your head around some of the theories involved with writing etc, but overall I’ve enjoyed my experience of University up to this point. That was until today.

To-day I had a lecturer make me feel like a fucking imbecile for asking a question. I’m of the belief that if you don’t know something, then don’t be afraid to ask a question, or state you’re not 100% sure of xyz. However to be blasted back with the question was not appropriate, left me dazed and confused. How the fuck can a question not be appropriate? Unless of course I asked the lecturer if he managed to get a root over the weekend – now that’s not appropriate! But when it’s in relation to the subject at hand… I was just left shaking my head, confused and well embarrassed.

I’m at Uni to LEARN I pay in-excess of $700.00 per subject which well covers the lectures pay packet I’m sure! And whilst as a paying student I have rights etc, shouldn’t expect to get something for nothing (Insert what ever fucking cliché you want in here) Is it too hard for these ‘teachers’ to remember that they were in my position once? That they weren’t born and then at the age of two become a Uni lecturer! That they too, had to learn, had to be a student. Clearly NOT the case with this particular lecturer.

I’m pissed off, annoyed, irate, sad, angry, deflated, kicked in the guts, smacked in the face – all those emotions wrapped up into one, and right now I’m wondering why the fuck do I bother!? I mean this feeling will pass, and I won’t allow one lecturer to fuck up my study plans – but talk about a kick in the teeth. Maybe because it came so far out of left field. I simply posed a question. It wasn’t off topic, it’s not like we were in a lecture about Shakespeare and I bought up Gertrude Stein! We were talking about Woolf and I asked a question about Woolf.

I’m off to write some more of my Writing from the edge essay I have due next week. If I get that sorted I’ll be happier as its one less thing I have due.

As for BEDA – it’s been a great experience to write a blog entry every day and I hope I can continue to do so.

That’s all I’ve got.