Why is it that my best moments of clarity re a story line etc come to me when I have no access to a pen to write them down? I get some of the best story arcs etc when I’m driving, or I’m in the shower. Both situations where writing the thoughts down is a little difficult.
I feel as though I’m in this place full of fog right now, and I’m just not sure which direction I should turn to face to lead me to a clearer view of the situation.
I’ve got about 50 ideas for the story I want to write for this years Nanowrimo, but when I lay in bed at night and think of the ways I could put them together they just seem to fall short, and seem well boring.
Is that my problem? Am I too hard on myself? Me hacking on me before I’ve even pushed past the starting line? (Great grammar there!) I’ve doomed the trip before the voyage has even set sail? Fuck there’s the cliché’s once again!!
If I’m honest with myself I think I’m just mentally exhausted from Uni this year, with a whole load of other stuff going on at the same time, I need a confidence boost, that what I’m doing here will mean something in the end, and I will get a job I *like* not just slot back into the same schedule of 8am to 5pm Monday to Friday in a job I despise getting out of bed for, and one that drives me to drink each evening.
I took a gamble and left full time employment to goto Uni, because it was something I wanted to do I’ve always had a passion for writing, and when an opportunity falls in your lap of an degree in writing, well I’d have been on that ‘if only I had’ merry-go –round had I not taken the opportunity when it was offered up to me. So I re-reading that statement alone, I am at least confident in the choice I made to goto Uni :) (Yay Sal!)
What does the future hold for me? I honestly don’t know. I hope the future enables me to finish my degree, get at least ONE book published in my lifetime, and to be happy in the job I get out of bed each morning to attend. Dream job, would be something with books, anything from a librarian, through to the jacket cover writer for people much more established in the world of publishing than I am right now.
I suppose that’s all life is really? One large challenge of self confidence, until you die.
That’s all I’ve got.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A sticky situation
Those who follow me on twitter will know that the other morning I managed to spill pretty much the entire contents of a mug of hot tea onto my wireless keyboard. The keys from the left hand side over to about TGB are ‘sticking’ you have to ‘punch’ them down to get them to work. I look at this scenario from a few different angles.
One: I can replace the keyboard if the ‘sticking’ problem doesn’t work itself out. As one follower on twitter commented – it was better to have the wireless keyboard go under than a laptop!
Two: The keyboard is much more sturdy to hot (Read Scalding) beverages than my lap. Whilst at the time when the hot tea was cascading from my cup onto the keyboard, followed by me shouting “Oh for fuck sake!” I had to take a moment to thank the inventor of the slide out keyboard shelf. For had that invention not been
invented, and had I not had a desk with the aforementioned slide out keyboard shelf in it, on which the position of the shelf was in the fully slid out position. Then that hot tea (read scalding!) would have ended up in my lap which would have resulted in a scald vagina and well that’s NEVER a good thing!!
Three: There are a lot of people worse off out there than me, and I really shouldn’t bitch and moan about it . But fuck if I don’t write about it here and allow follows on twitter to know, then who else would give a fuck? Except maybe my mum!
In other news
I’ve got three of my marks back for the first ‘assignment’s’ for the units I’m doing – there’s two major assignments in total for each class (Amounts to six) and then there’s other ‘stuff’ that is counted as 10 and 15 % marks throughout the course(s). Except politics in which the major assignment is worth 60% It’s a pass/fail paper and I’m kinda stressing over it just a little.
Anyway – marks so far are
Playwriting: Distinction +
Politics Journal: Distinction +
Issues and themes in contemporary writing (Read a shit load of books!): Credit +
I’m really happy with all these marks considering that I felt I was really struggling with this semester. The classes just weren’t ‘great’ and the books we had to read were well a bit shit! (out of seven books three were good!)
It’s all down hill now (Cliché #427!) and its gaining momentum (Cliché # 428!)
Ok I’ll stop the Clichés
I’ll be finished this semester and this year by the middle of the October and then I’ll concentrate on this year’s submission for NANOWRIMO. This is the first time I’ve attempted it, but I’m really looking forward to the challenge and I defiantly think 50,000 words in thirty days will test my limits.
That’s all I’ve got
One: I can replace the keyboard if the ‘sticking’ problem doesn’t work itself out. As one follower on twitter commented – it was better to have the wireless keyboard go under than a laptop!
Two: The keyboard is much more sturdy to hot (Read Scalding) beverages than my lap. Whilst at the time when the hot tea was cascading from my cup onto the keyboard, followed by me shouting “Oh for fuck sake!” I had to take a moment to thank the inventor of the slide out keyboard shelf. For had that invention not been
invented, and had I not had a desk with the aforementioned slide out keyboard shelf in it, on which the position of the shelf was in the fully slid out position. Then that hot tea (read scalding!) would have ended up in my lap which would have resulted in a scald vagina and well that’s NEVER a good thing!!
Three: There are a lot of people worse off out there than me, and I really shouldn’t bitch and moan about it . But fuck if I don’t write about it here and allow follows on twitter to know, then who else would give a fuck? Except maybe my mum!
In other news
I’ve got three of my marks back for the first ‘assignment’s’ for the units I’m doing – there’s two major assignments in total for each class (Amounts to six) and then there’s other ‘stuff’ that is counted as 10 and 15 % marks throughout the course(s). Except politics in which the major assignment is worth 60% It’s a pass/fail paper and I’m kinda stressing over it just a little.
Anyway – marks so far are
Playwriting: Distinction +
Politics Journal: Distinction +
Issues and themes in contemporary writing (Read a shit load of books!): Credit +
I’m really happy with all these marks considering that I felt I was really struggling with this semester. The classes just weren’t ‘great’ and the books we had to read were well a bit shit! (out of seven books three were good!)
It’s all down hill now (Cliché #427!) and its gaining momentum (Cliché # 428!)
Ok I’ll stop the Clichés
I’ll be finished this semester and this year by the middle of the October and then I’ll concentrate on this year’s submission for NANOWRIMO. This is the first time I’ve attempted it, but I’m really looking forward to the challenge and I defiantly think 50,000 words in thirty days will test my limits.
That’s all I’ve got
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Post # 100
There’s no fireworks? WTF?
This is my official post number One Hundred. I actually wrote it a few weeks ago on the evening of my Mum’s 60th Birthday celebrations (We rocked out with an OAP party!!) However life (Known as Uni!) caught up with me and I’ve not had a chance to post it. Plus, if gave me a chance to edit it down a bit.
Life is pretty full on right now, with the workload increasing for Uni, and the time in the day just slipping away without any notice. Whilst its not ‘panic’ stations just yet it will be soon if things don’t come together a little better.
One note though. I experienced my first exposure to someone cheating this past week. They worked shopped some work which they stated was theirs – however it’s not! It fucked me off that they ‘took on board the feedback’ and said ‘oh yeah thanks I’ll work on that angle’ etc etc and all the time I’m thinking – you didn’t even fucking write this!
It got the better of me in the end and I e-mailed the lecturer with proof that this work wasn’t this persons, and that I wouldn’t be offering feedback on ‘this piece’ as I couldn’t! It’s in the lectures hands now. I hope they pursue it. Plagiarism is highlighted everywhere re our assignments. So when it’s handed to them with actual proof this work isn’t this persons then surly they can’t ignore it! Anyway as I said I’ve let the lecturer know it’s in their hands now.
Back to my mum’s birthday.
My mum turned 60 this year – a big milestone for her. She clearly stated to my brother and I she didn’t want a ‘big fuss’ however would like some close friends and family over for a small lunchtime party / gathering. She pre-warned us re the 60th celebrations, as when she turned 50 my brother and I lobbed on her doorstep from Brisbane the night before to her surprise, asking what we where doing home. When we told her we were here to set up her party she didn’t believe us that was until the Saturday morning when we started setting up tables etc and blowing up balloons, and then guests started to arrive! She enjoyed it though, and she enjoyed her ‘small’ gathering of close friends and family this time around for her 60th.
Thanks to my new followers – it’s lovely to have new people on board and giving feedback. I’ve got Scoman to primarily thank for that, so thanks Scoman!
That’s all I’ve got.
This is my official post number One Hundred. I actually wrote it a few weeks ago on the evening of my Mum’s 60th Birthday celebrations (We rocked out with an OAP party!!) However life (Known as Uni!) caught up with me and I’ve not had a chance to post it. Plus, if gave me a chance to edit it down a bit.
Life is pretty full on right now, with the workload increasing for Uni, and the time in the day just slipping away without any notice. Whilst its not ‘panic’ stations just yet it will be soon if things don’t come together a little better.
One note though. I experienced my first exposure to someone cheating this past week. They worked shopped some work which they stated was theirs – however it’s not! It fucked me off that they ‘took on board the feedback’ and said ‘oh yeah thanks I’ll work on that angle’ etc etc and all the time I’m thinking – you didn’t even fucking write this!
It got the better of me in the end and I e-mailed the lecturer with proof that this work wasn’t this persons, and that I wouldn’t be offering feedback on ‘this piece’ as I couldn’t! It’s in the lectures hands now. I hope they pursue it. Plagiarism is highlighted everywhere re our assignments. So when it’s handed to them with actual proof this work isn’t this persons then surly they can’t ignore it! Anyway as I said I’ve let the lecturer know it’s in their hands now.
Back to my mum’s birthday.
My mum turned 60 this year – a big milestone for her. She clearly stated to my brother and I she didn’t want a ‘big fuss’ however would like some close friends and family over for a small lunchtime party / gathering. She pre-warned us re the 60th celebrations, as when she turned 50 my brother and I lobbed on her doorstep from Brisbane the night before to her surprise, asking what we where doing home. When we told her we were here to set up her party she didn’t believe us that was until the Saturday morning when we started setting up tables etc and blowing up balloons, and then guests started to arrive! She enjoyed it though, and she enjoyed her ‘small’ gathering of close friends and family this time around for her 60th.
Thanks to my new followers – it’s lovely to have new people on board and giving feedback. I’ve got Scoman to primarily thank for that, so thanks Scoman!
That’s all I’ve got.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Just being Me
I first started this blog as part of an assessment for a Unit I was undertaking at Uni. However I enjoyed the ‘purge’ it allowed me so I continued it. No one other than the lecturer knew who I really was, and well I bloody doubt very much that she (The lecturer) actually comes by to read my waffle anymore.
So why is it that I suddenly feel as though my anonymity has been taken from me? That I need to watch what I say, be cautious of who I mention (Or at least make a partial mention to without actually naming names!) Is it because some people who know me IRL (You know the real life friends who have actually shared personal space with you! i.e a hug or a car trip!) Know my twitter address / follow me on twitter and thus have access to this blog. Maybe it’s them who are making me more self conscious – making me cautious about what I’m saying in case I may offend one / some of them.
Then the flip side of the coin comes down….. and I realise you know what! Fuck it this is my blog, I’ll say / write what ever the hell I want to (Within reason I don’t want to be sued by some huge corporate giant!) but I’ll say what I like, and how I feel regardless of who’s reading it – Because I run with the following notion.
If you don’t like what’s written here don’t read it
Or put another way.
If you’re going to be offended by what I might write here – then fuck off!
I will not at any point ‘name names’ i.e. give full names (First name Last Name) as I for one don’t believe that its fair that someone writes about someone else who may not want to be written about, and therefore I don’t think it’s ‘cool’ to give full names. I know I wouldn’t like it if someone was using my full name when writing about me in their blog.
Some may say – lock your blog, make it private, only allow those you want to see it in. I disagree, I’m running with my previous notion, if you don’t like what’s written here, stop reading, fuck off and don’t come back.
Kinda simple really when you take five minutes out of a hectic schedule to think about it.
I’m off to write plays about domestic violence, a briefing paper on human rights – Oh and in there somewhere I’ll find some time to ‘relax’ and play the new Wolfenstien I purchased yesterday.
That’s all I’ve got.
So why is it that I suddenly feel as though my anonymity has been taken from me? That I need to watch what I say, be cautious of who I mention (Or at least make a partial mention to without actually naming names!) Is it because some people who know me IRL (You know the real life friends who have actually shared personal space with you! i.e a hug or a car trip!) Know my twitter address / follow me on twitter and thus have access to this blog. Maybe it’s them who are making me more self conscious – making me cautious about what I’m saying in case I may offend one / some of them.
Then the flip side of the coin comes down….. and I realise you know what! Fuck it this is my blog, I’ll say / write what ever the hell I want to (Within reason I don’t want to be sued by some huge corporate giant!) but I’ll say what I like, and how I feel regardless of who’s reading it – Because I run with the following notion.
If you don’t like what’s written here don’t read it
Or put another way.
If you’re going to be offended by what I might write here – then fuck off!
I will not at any point ‘name names’ i.e. give full names (First name Last Name) as I for one don’t believe that its fair that someone writes about someone else who may not want to be written about, and therefore I don’t think it’s ‘cool’ to give full names. I know I wouldn’t like it if someone was using my full name when writing about me in their blog.
Some may say – lock your blog, make it private, only allow those you want to see it in. I disagree, I’m running with my previous notion, if you don’t like what’s written here, stop reading, fuck off and don’t come back.
Kinda simple really when you take five minutes out of a hectic schedule to think about it.
I’m off to write plays about domestic violence, a briefing paper on human rights – Oh and in there somewhere I’ll find some time to ‘relax’ and play the new Wolfenstien I purchased yesterday.
That’s all I’ve got.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Double Post - One more thing
Can I just say 'Hello' to my new followers :) Nice to have you on-board. I hope I'm keeping you entertained somewhat.
To those 'lurking' go on hit that 'Join this site' button down there on the right....
You know you want too! ;)
To those 'lurking' go on hit that 'Join this site' button down there on the right....
You know you want too! ;)
Raarrrrrr
That's the sound of my head saying fuck you - stop putting information into me.
I'm off to get my eyes tested on Friday. I've had four yup that's F-O-U-R back to back vision disturbance migraines in the past four days, and to be honest it's scared me.
The only things I can put it down to is:
a) Migraine meds I'm currently on have 'stopped' working
b) Eye strain from the abundance of reading I've tried to pour into my head in the last week.
Anyway this afternoon I called up to make an appointment with my Doctor. The office lady informs me that he's away for the next three weeks. I was 'and your point?' the lady was like, 'well you won't be able to get in for three weeks'. I restated my previous statement - 'and your point is what? I'm used to waiting three weeks!' Luckily she could see I was taking the piss and laughed, then she told me I was naughty! I laughed at that.. I think I was five the last time I got told I was naughty!! Anyway she suggested I get my eyes tested in the meantime so I got off the phone to her and made and appointment with the eye person in town - he's clearly not on holiday's nor rushed off his feet, as he said 'how's this Friday afternoon suit you?'
So the best outcome here is that I just need glasses to read with - the bad outcome is I have something more serious going on. I'll go with the former outcome thanks.
That's all I've got.
I'm off to get my eyes tested on Friday. I've had four yup that's F-O-U-R back to back vision disturbance migraines in the past four days, and to be honest it's scared me.
The only things I can put it down to is:
a) Migraine meds I'm currently on have 'stopped' working
b) Eye strain from the abundance of reading I've tried to pour into my head in the last week.
Anyway this afternoon I called up to make an appointment with my Doctor. The office lady informs me that he's away for the next three weeks. I was 'and your point?' the lady was like, 'well you won't be able to get in for three weeks'. I restated my previous statement - 'and your point is what? I'm used to waiting three weeks!' Luckily she could see I was taking the piss and laughed, then she told me I was naughty! I laughed at that.. I think I was five the last time I got told I was naughty!! Anyway she suggested I get my eyes tested in the meantime so I got off the phone to her and made and appointment with the eye person in town - he's clearly not on holiday's nor rushed off his feet, as he said 'how's this Friday afternoon suit you?'
So the best outcome here is that I just need glasses to read with - the bad outcome is I have something more serious going on. I'll go with the former outcome thanks.
That's all I've got.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
August 1st - Blog #96
Procrastination is a fine art to master - I'm still in the process of getting my Phd in it - however I'm well on the way right about now.
I've stumbled into that 'rut' the one where you look at your calendar - see the enormous about of shit due and then think - Meh I can't be arsed doing Uni work today. The problem with that is I had the day off yesterday and spent it with my mum. So today I was suppose to get into it and get as much as I could get done for this week before my brother arrives tomorrow night.
What have I done thus far today
I went and got a hair cut
Fixed a friends computer
Went grocery shopping even though I loath it
Did the washing
Pulled in the aformentioned washing and folded it, and put it away
Now I'm sitting here writing this entry when I should be writing the proposal for the play I'm planning to write as my major assignment for that subject or 'writing for performance' It's only 1,000 words that's due Friday and I've not really kept up with the reading for that class as it bores the shit out of me, so right now I'm searching for a paddle!
I'm armed with redbull - the dog (He's laying on his bed beside me) and well... I'll upload this - shut down twirl so as not to be distracted by twitter and put a solid two hours in until 6pm when I'll be hungry, have to consume food and then won't want to write essay plans or read about the 'empty space' of theatre nor give a rats about the inner messages the book 'the hours' is trying to communicate to the reader.
I'll stop moaning - and just suck it up and get on with it
That's all I've got
I've stumbled into that 'rut' the one where you look at your calendar - see the enormous about of shit due and then think - Meh I can't be arsed doing Uni work today. The problem with that is I had the day off yesterday and spent it with my mum. So today I was suppose to get into it and get as much as I could get done for this week before my brother arrives tomorrow night.
What have I done thus far today
I went and got a hair cut
Fixed a friends computer
Went grocery shopping even though I loath it
Did the washing
Pulled in the aformentioned washing and folded it, and put it away
Now I'm sitting here writing this entry when I should be writing the proposal for the play I'm planning to write as my major assignment for that subject or 'writing for performance' It's only 1,000 words that's due Friday and I've not really kept up with the reading for that class as it bores the shit out of me, so right now I'm searching for a paddle!
I'm armed with redbull - the dog (He's laying on his bed beside me) and well... I'll upload this - shut down twirl so as not to be distracted by twitter and put a solid two hours in until 6pm when I'll be hungry, have to consume food and then won't want to write essay plans or read about the 'empty space' of theatre nor give a rats about the inner messages the book 'the hours' is trying to communicate to the reader.
I'll stop moaning - and just suck it up and get on with it
That's all I've got
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