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Saturday, August 9, 2008

The lonely solider

I’ve never had a problem being on my own – flying solo – single minded what ever tag you want to put that goes to the term ‘single’ with out a significant other half.

However as I face the newest fork in the road of life and look around to see all the others standing in the same place with me. The difference is that they have support from someone – I realise that being single in a time of crisis is well a bit shit – no shoulder to cry on, no body to help keep me warm at night – no one to hug me and tell me it’s all going to be ok.

My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer on the Tuesday the 15th of July 2008. I can’t describe the feelings I have fear mainly but I do have a strong feeling of hope – that she will be fine that they have found it in time and she will recover from this to see her youngest grandson Harry who was born on the 30th of June 2008 – turn 21.

It’s moments like this, which are life changing. When you hear that a loved one has been dealt a disease that can be life ending, you realise that being single – no strings attached etc. Has its down side – I have no ‘rock’ in which I can use to prop myself up with through this situation. My brother has his wife Katrina and two sons – my mum has my dad and my dad has my mum – but who’s there for Sal? I’m the one who always comes through for people. I’m the one who can be counted on in a shitty situation to keep a level head, and get everyone through it. What happens when the ‘strong’ one needs some support?

I’ll continue to stay calm, steady and rational – I’ll be the one to pick up the slack, to make life easier for my mum as she faces the toughest battle she’s ever likely to endure in her life to date.

Across the ocean on the other side of the world however lives a girl who I’ve never meet in real life – we have a common interest that brought us together – she is my sounding board, Lucy is the only person who knows of my mum’s condition. My mum’s a very private person and doesn’t want everyone in our small country town knowing her business. Lucy has no connection to anyone I know here in Australia so I’m able to tell her of the situation I am facing with my mum’s illness, and as always she’s been as supportive as someone can be from the other side of the world. But unfortunately – a computer can’t give you the physical hug you need, that reassuring hug to let you know that things will be okay – and that it will all work out in the end.

Human contact is something we all crave in various forms from a simple touch to a heart felt warm embrace. But what do single people do when there’s no one there to offer that much needed physical contact?

My mum will get through this she’s a fighter – Cancer picked the wrong woman to get on board and try to mess with and it will realise this in no time.

I’ll solider on- I always do – I’ve never known anything else other than just me to fight out the battles. The lonely solider – The drug’s don’t work – so this painful event will be a difficult one to fight.

1 comment:

SharpFinale said...

Cancer...there's nothing left to say to damn it.